In all my life, there are things that I never thought that I would have to say. Some are silly, and mundane however others that I have caught myself saying or about to say just make me have to shake my head.

I know that some of the things in my list are things that end up getting said as our children age, however there are a few that really make me wonder what is wrong with my kids me. Obviously this is not a complete list, but I seems like a pretty good start……


1. Poop is not paint.

2. Paint is not food.

3. Don’t bite the cat.

4. Stop kicking the dog.

5. Dog food is not people food.

6. Please don’t eat the soap.

7. Soap will make you poop a lot.

Are you noticing a pattern here?

8. Damn it, stop saying Damn it. ( I know, I know)

9. It’s okay, green cupcakes will make your poop green. You are not an alien.

10. Stop hitting each other.

11. You are not hitting eachother hard enough.

12. Don’t eat your hair.

13. Please don’t eat your boogers.

14. Cleaning your toes with your iPod is gross.

15. I can clip your toe nails please stop biting them off.

16. Licking the Tv is not okay.

17. When I said pick up the dog poop from the yard, I ment with the scooper, not your hands.

18. Yes, you have to wash them before you eat now.

19. I will pull the balloon out of the dogs butt, in just a second.

20. No “Kitty Rocca” is not like “Almond Rocca”

21. It’s just dirt, you aren’t going to die.

22. God made dirt, dirt don’t hurt.

23. Please, don’t eat yellow snow.

24. Don’t start a fight, but you had better finish one.

25. Well he shouldn’t have hit her, and she wouldn’t have bloodied his lip……..

Taekwondo, happens people. Don’t pick on my kids.

26. He deserved it.

27. That kid over there is a walking Darwin Award.

28. I still think that we should take the warning labels off and let the issue sort itself out.

29. You can’t wear that……

30. I can see your bra, so that’s a no go too……

31. No you cannot have pepsi.

32. Please, stop harassing your dad about his transfats…….

33. I know it says it has fat in it, but it’s a good fat.

34. Because I know what good fats are.

35. Because I said so.

36. Because reasons.

37. Seriously, CUZ REASONS.

38. I don’t mind going to jail.

39. Five years old is too young to go on a date.

40. You cannot have a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich in the bathtub.


There are oh so many more that I have said and just don’t remember. What about you? What are the things that you have said feeling that it was before their time, or that you never thought that you would have to say at all?
Feel free to comment them below! I wanna hear from you.

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