Today sealed the deal, so I have decided to write about a day in my life and how I end up being a grubby mom all of the time.

I am not human yet....
I am not human yet….

I was getting up early, thinking about coffee and the sweet smell that was permeating through my house today. When suddenly I sit in piss. Seriously? One of these days my son is going to have to perfect that aim, or I am going to have to start paying attention and looking before I sit.

However in my defense before any caffeine I can’t really focus or pay attention. 

So its 6:45 am, coming in from my morning smoke ,(don’t judge me) trying to empty my hummingbird bladder, now covered in boy piss listening to my kids argue and cry over a poptart I decided that I don’t know how people have the time to not be a grubby mom.

7:10 am Finally got Poptart Gate handled and everyone happy. Time for me to get some coffee and wake up for a few minutes before sending the boy out to his bus. Yum, sweet coffee goodness.

7:35 am The alarm on my phone goes off to tell the boy to go get ready to climb on the bus. Where does he go? Off to go mess with some of his Legos. NO…… Go and get your shoes and coat on please. Don’t forget your backpack. Hurry up, go you’re gonna miss your bus.

8:00 am Text from a friend ” Hey, headed to the gym to take a swim exercise class, you should come! It starts at 9 am” CRAP That is in an hour, I haven’t showered, eaten, or finished my cup of coffee.

Scrambles to go find some workout clothes. ANYONE SEEN MY BRA????? No? Okay, it’s probably in with the other 10 loads of laundry that I haven’t done yet. Muttering to myself. “Okay, hurry up and shower, where the hell are my socks? Wait why am I taking a shower before going swimming in a public pool? Crap, gotta tell B to get some clothes on.”

Me: “Hey B, wanna go to the gym?”

B: “YEAH! Gonna go get dressed.”

More muttering to myself. Thank god she said yes

The Mister “You okay in there?”

Me: “Yeah, just talking to myself. Nothing out of the ordinary going on in here.”

Damn, it’s 8:35  Quickly throw on my swimsuit, some sweats, flip flops and grab my towel thinking that I will shower when we get home or while she is in school. “Come on B, we gotta go. ”

After some hair brushing and arguing about shoes we finally made it to the car. WAHOO!! It’s only 8:45am. Doing good tater! After a short drive to the gym, checking B into child watch (2 hours of free childcare while you are at the gym), paying my membership dues then running to the pool area I managed to get myself IN the pool at 9:00am exactly.

I MADE IT! Thank god, I seriously didn’t think I was going to make it. So after staring at the 9ft deep water in front of me I jumped in……. That was my first mistake. I was informed by one of my friends I was headed to meet that my contact was sitting on my cheek. OH NOES! I can’t lose my contact in the pool, I will be totally screwed. Class has begun at this point and I am hanging off the side of the pool not getting out to put it back in even though theoretically it would have been easier to put my contact back in, vrs hanging precariously off the tile, because if I were to get out I would start shivering and shaking which would cause my to probably stab myself in the eye. I don’t wanna stab myself in the eye. 

After 5 minutes of fussing with said contact I am finally ready to get my swim on with a bunch of like 70 year old women, while listening to Neil Diamond.

Class lasted about 55 min and I had just enough time to head to the hot tub for 5 min while visiting with my friends and stretch. Stretching in a hot tub is AMAZING! I glance at the clock noticing that it’s 10:05 am and I still need to dry off and put some clothes on so that I can go work out.

I went and worked my ass off. At least that is the desire. I got nice and sweaty from lifting weights and everything else. See look I took a pic. I never take pictures at the gym because I am all sweaty and nasty when I am done. Far more than just a grubby mom.

Lifting free weights. Sweating like a beast
Lifting free weights. Sweating like a beast.

Got done with my workout at about 11 ish I only had a 2 hour window to do it all while B was in child watch. Immediately she is complaining about being hungry so we settle to head to the cafe area and get one of our favorite sandwiches that they make at the gym. We get through the line of people only to realize that they have completely changed the menu and no longer carry anything that we like food wise. BUMMER! So we settled for nachos and a soft pretzel. ICK, but when you’re hungry food is food. I think that it is a ploy by the gym to not serve healthy food ensuring that you have to come back and work off that pretzel and nacho cheese. 

It’s only noon and B doesn’t have to be to school for another 45 minutes. Crap now what? She decided to serenade me with her rendition of Twinkle Twinkle little star for that 45 minutes. I managed to fold a load of laundry and clean up the living room while she was doing it so thats a plus.

Can't even put the clothes in the laundry bag.
Can’t even put the clothes in the laundry bag.

I got her off to school at promptly 12:40pm and ran back home to get some cleaning done. I suddenly had no time for a shower. It’s okay I will get one later this evening. Before I knew what time it was, my alarm went off and it was time to go get B from school. I have to head out to her school at 2:45pm to pick her up. So I have 40 min of waiting in the car. Great….. At least I have time to start this blog post, so that’s a plus right? 

It’s 3:25pm and B is emerging from the school in a foul mood. Awesome. I get home a few min after that as we only live a couple blocks from the school. I end up spending the next 30-45 min trying to figure out what happened with B at school. During this time A came home from school and he was in a funk as well. So fun….. Everyone is in a mood and I need to clean the kitchen and make supper. Still no shower.

Made dinner, sat down and ate with the family. By now it’s after 6 and it’s time for the kids to get cleaned up, in pajamas and ready to head for bed.

Still no time to take a shower, this is how I end up with unwashed hair for a week, while I smell like horse apples according to B. 

We finally got the kids to bed, and sit down together for a quick little bit to cuddle and watch one of our shows on the DVR. Well now it’s 9:30pm and time for bed. So I crawl into bed still unshowered, in the same clothes that I worked out in.

I never ended up getting a shower until the next day after B got home from school. It was somewhere around 4pm and I definitely smelled like horse apples at that point. I love being a stay at home mom for my children and my husband. However I don’t understand how people manage to get so defensive when I am busy and don’t have time to go out and or do things for them. Just because I am a stay at home mom, doesn’t mean that I am not a busy woman/mom/wife. 

This is a slow day in my house as well. It’s not a Taekwondo night, or a night when we have any other event going on.

 

 

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